This is a week of experimenting and discovering - we experiment with an attitude of curiosity and willingness to discover the thoughts and emotions that arise when we are focused in awareness with equanimity.
It is the 'vantage point' or 'perspective' of seeing in the equanimity of awareness that makes it possible to discover the thoughts and associated feelings that otherwise remain 'under our radar' of awareness. These unnoticed thoughts and feelings can, from their apparently hidden, or undiscovered place of habit, wreak havoc in our lives, especially in the area of self-judgment.
We are not going to try to stop these thoughts and feelings. Instead, we commit to allowing their presence with equanimity: we allow the thoughts that we usually identify with to just be (they're already there!), but this time we do not fuel them with our attention by making a story about them. And we do not divert our attention away from a strong feeling, or attempt to categorize or analyze it. Rather, we allow the feeling to run its course through the body, feeling its sensation in the body as totally as we can, again without making a story about it.
And if we recognize ourselves in the midst of self-judgment or other story-telling that we're identifying with, we take that recognition as a cue to immediately focus with equanimity on the sensation of just this breath. Then, we go back to the willingness, the allowing, the vantage point of seeing in the equanimity of awareness whatever thoughts and feelings are arising in that awareness... and dissolving in that awareness.
This morning I realized that when I focused on 'Just One Breath' and felt the calm and equanimity permeate me, it was definitely ME doing something to accomplish something. With this realization I experimented with 'Just One Breath' being truly just ONE breath. The breath that flowed through me is also the breath of the planet, the breath of action or inaction, the breath of my new baby grandson. Love playing together everyone!
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting to witness something unfolding inside without understanding exactly what it is…for instance the combination of “feelings” (without names), physical / biological events and “energy” events – perhaps paying close attention to these I see them with greater detail though I have no reference for just what is being ‘seen’ . The feelings seem at times to resemble a biochemical chicken-egg situation with perception, and the “seat” of me awareness, unlocked from my headspace, feels like it may migrate a bit, though is mostly near and around me heart; are these chakras, I wonder? Good to be present.
ReplyDeleteafter asking a couple of you if you have been receiving emails of the comments being left by other Course members, and getting "NO" as the answer, i suspected something was amiss with the blog settings. sho-nuf! much to my chagrin, i did not have the settings correct and not only have you have not been getting the comment emails, but i'm pretty sure you haven't been getting my postings either!
ReplyDeleteso, here is part 1 of the comments you have left (from oldest to newest) - i had to send them in 2 parts because of the size, so part 2 follows. and, to see my postings, just go to the blog site. click "older post" to see the postings before today. sorry for all this chaos!
June 2, 2011 10:07 PM kenzo said...
I notice that when I become aware of the breath, I am also immediately pulled into my suroundings and become simultaneaously aware of the environment, the materials, light, sound, temperature, feel, etc.
June 3, 2011 2:16 PM Ralph said...
focusing on breath has been unusually difficult, but not impossible, for me this week due to a persistent strong cough and irritated throat.
i often use focusing on breath as a TOOL to get to sleep at night, because i find that more thinking = less sleeping! this week, coughing at night has kept me awake a lot, but i am noticing that when i can focus only on breath, the coughing stops; and it starts up again when i again turn the focus of my attention to thought.
June 3, 2011 10:30 PM kenzo said...
More sharing..
after working out this morning and saying how good it feels, Diana (wife) asked if I thought it would make me less crabby - I have been observing of late that it could be I'm turning into a crabby old man at only 38 - to which I responded 'Yes, this plus my work with [awareness]'. Earlier this morning it felt as if awareness of the breath brought me to the center of balance or gravity, a place of rest, a stillness, whereas otherwise I was off in some other location or trajectory. To Diana's question, again the breath pulled me back to center, now reminding me of a river, and that my crabbiness comes from getting stuck in some story, like some eddy in a river bend, and awareness brings me back into the center of the flow, free from the stories that cause me to slow down and get mired in circles - motion without progress; no wonder crabbiness does arise from such eddies.
June 5, 2011 1:41 PM joriazinger said...
There is a tendency to 'count' breaths. By the 2nd or 3rd I've let go of the counting. Initially this practice was at the expense of whatever else was going on, I mean, "Focus on this one breath and everything else goes into the background." Just practiced while there was music with a strong drum beat and it was quite interesting. After a bit of 'trying' to keep the focus on the breath while the beat went on I realized they could both be there equally - and then another element of physical touch came in and that too could dance in the spaciousness of equanimity.
June 5, 2011 10:19 PM Nick said...
I was initially aware of sounds that disturb me( ie traffic noise and sounds I can't control) then after a few minutes they became insignificant background sounds. Again, I get to a place of serenity and peacefulness as I continue to focus on this one breath. 5 minutes goes fast.
part 2 comments:
ReplyDeleteJune 7, 2011 10:12 PM Nick said...
As I sit still, quiet and focused on this one breath, my mind keeps chattering away. then I focus on the breath again. I can allow things around me to be just as they are fairly easily. It is the thoughts that I have a difficult time allowing to be.Sometimes out of the blue, totally random, unrelated thoughts distract me and I lose track of focusing on my breath. then time is up.
June 10, 2011 8:29 AM kenzo said...
June 8, 2011 2:49 PM
breath is the constant companion. opening to the now, it brings into clarity and sharp relief driving, listening, chewing, sitting, walking, working. It intensifies the moment, so a challenging task may seem suddenly more overwhelming than before, bur this levels out (if perhaps at a level of greater intensity). Peace and quiet is likewise fuller, deeper, richer and more enjoyable.
From today – 10 June 2011
The two new realizations from last week continue to offer nuance in perspective / experience. These are 1) not being ‘in my head’, but rather unbound wherever (seems like then ‘I’ am more from my heart area) and 2) not to name ‘feelings’, which is great, and makes me conceive of the word ‘feelings’ in a new way, like feel-ings, or ‘thingy’.
So, now in presence, these old habits seem to be there first, and it is for me to observe them with awareness of them in order for them do dissolve. I notice one prominent physical change, which is when I am aware to not ‘locate’ my ‘self’ in my head or any other physical body area, my shoulders fall away from being towards my ears. This is interesting. I also feel a more voluminous and complete presence, what reminds me of a lion or other animal that seems to ‘be’ its entire ‘self’ in my imagination, so that when it stands it is standing as a whole being, all parts signaling the intention in equal parts foot, leg, torso, head, ears; my ‘presence’ pervades the whole physical vessel, and perhaps somewhat beyond it too?
‘Feelings’ are really incredible – for something that is a regular every day event to appear so vividly different, unlatched from the meaning – and baggage – I had ascribed it through my years of stories. It is recognized and, unless old habits are ruling, felt. It seems to have a location, pressure, density, sharpness, fluctuation of temperature and pressure, even an emanance of some light or color or something. I first notice a feeling when it comes up and I am focused in awareness; then I will notice other feelings that are already there and have been but have been running unnoticed in the background. So far, most of these seem to have a location in the heart area.