Week #4 Application in Daily Life

Following are the practice points from Week #4, with the practical explanation/application for each point.

• Practice ‘seeing’ the thought stories and beliefs that comprise a sense of separation.
• Any thought that presents a story of ‘me’ – a sense of me, picture of me as a separate person, me as the subject and the rest of the world as object, me in comparison with another person, my history/future, etc. – is an elemental component of the separate-feeling, personal sense-of-self.
•  Just pay attention to what you are thinking and feeling, and when you are aware of this kind of thought go the breath in equanimity and see it, from the perspective of being focused in awareness, for what it actually is: a thought about reality, and not reality. 

• Practice not believing everything we think.
• Again, view thought from the perspective of being focused in awareness with equanimity and you will see that what you might have previously taken for truth or reality is only a belief – a thought.

• Practice experiencing the direct, felt sense of seeing/perceiving everyday life as it is, without the overlay or filter of conditioned thoughts and belief systems.
• The direct, felt-sense of awareness is what occurs when you are focused in awareness with equanimity. When what is is perceived from this perspective, it is seen in clarity because it is awareness, seeing. But when there is an overlay of thought in the form of ‘you,’ what is is seen from your perspective, i.e., through the filters of you as a personal, separate sense of self. With practice, you'll be able to easily discern between belief and what is.

Week #3 - Expanding the Content

Week 3 focuses on the personal, separate sense-of-self. In the outline for the Course, this week's description states that the content for this week "shines the light of awareness on the self that we think we are, and explores the possibility of what we truly are." To lay the ground work for this week's practicing, let's look at these words and what they are trying to describe:

• The 'personal, separate sense-of-self is 'the self that we think we are.' The concept here (until it becomes experiential rather than conceptual) is that the 'I' thought is the I... there is no entity, 'I' other than the thought, 'I.' This 'self' is re-created (reincarnated) with every thought that is taken for granted to be 'my thought' or 'about me.' It is defined by thought. It includes the felt sense of separation within our bodies in any given moment that accompanies the thoughts, beliefs, ideas, perceptions, interpretations, stories, etc., that appear to be 'about me.' And because thought, by its very nature, is dualistic, i.e., it separates everything into subject and object, the personal, separate sense-of-self inherently feels incomplete, not whole, not enough.

• 'Awareness' can only be loosely described with words because awareness is not a 'thing' and words (thoughts) can only describe things (even imagined things). For our purposes here in this Course, awareness might be described as that which is always already present, and which allows all else to appear/exist within its presence. All 'things' - even the sense/experience of separation - come and go within awareness, which neither comes nor goes. Awareness is oneness. Awareness is what you truly are. 

•  'Shining the light of awareness' on the thoughts that comprise this personal, separate sense-of-self is what occurs when we are focused in awareness with equanimity and can impersonally 'see' the thought structures that, up until now, we have taken for granted to be who we are. 

When we are 'running on automatic' there is a constant identification with thoughts about 'me' that seem to create and maintain this separate entity that we call 'me.' Taking into consideration the fact that we probably have been doing this all our lives through conditioned thinking, how can we not automatically identify with these thoughts? By 'seeing' thought from the perspective of equanimity! When there is equanimity, i.e., when there are no stories of 'me' being created and identified with in reaction to what is happening, there remains only what is happening within alive, intelligent, present awareness. And there is no 'me' other than the thought of me. 

You can try this out right now: Begin by focusing only on the sensation of this breath. At first, there is only sensation - breathing, bodily sensations, outside sounds, thoughts, etc. If there is focus with equanimity, there is no distinction being made between "me' and 'not me.' Soon after, however, there seems to be 'awareness of' what is happening; thought comes and there is ownership of this awareness: "I am aware of breathing, thinking," etc. There is a subtle, habitual sense of a central entity, a personal sense-of-self, 'me,' that is the sovereign of these thoughts and experiences and claims ownership of an 'experience of awareness' - "I am aware! I have awareness now!" But in actuality, I cannot have awareness. I cannot see with awareness. When 'I' disappears, all is seen in the clarity of awareness.

Our conditioned thinking cannot be seen from within conditioned thinking, but it can be seen from the perspective of awareness with equanimity. If you can look with curiosity, without judgment, and with compassion from this perspective, you will be able to see where and how the separate sense-of-self is created and maintained by thought. Don't take it personally! Equanimity is accepting what is simply because it already is, and for no other reason. Acceptance requires a letting go of the habitual tendency to react with thought - don't give it a second thought. But in practicality, and because of habit, a second thought or reaction to what is may very well arise. It is at this critical point that you take the next breath focused in awareness with equanimity. Then, you will see what is in clarity (the light of awareness) instead of seeing through the filter of your thoughts, interpretations, stories, etc.

Week #2 - Reminders, Practices and More

Reminders:

• Discover how being focused in awareness with equanimity enables the ‘seeing’ of conditioned thought systems and patterns that are usually unnoticed (as when we’re ‘running on automatic’).
• Experience the difference between awareness followed by self-judgment, and awareness followed by self-acceptance.
• Explore/Experience how self-judgment acts as the glue that holds “unconscious” habit patterns in place, and how equanimity acts as a solvent.
• Discover that we are capable of experiencing our emotions with equanimity. Jill Bolte Taylor's '90 second rule.' (see blog archives, 2009, Week #6). Also, a short statement of the 90 second rule: http://www.squidoo.com/stroke-of-insight#module52542601.
• Approaching the discovery of thought systems with curiosity and compassion.

Practice:

• Search for the word “equanimity” in the blog archives from 2009 and 2010; read the resulting entries.
• Read about the 90 second rule in blog archives (see above).
• Practice the allowing, accepting, spaciousness of equanimity during mental and emotional turmoil. Practice not resisting upset and disruption with strategies; instead, allow what is with equanimity. If possible, see the thoughts that arise to support or combat emotional states.
• Practice shifting from judgment to breath in equanimity.

More:

When you're running on automatic you're not focusing on breath, and you're in the past or the future... i.e., in thought. focusing on just this breath with equanimity brings you into 'the present' where thought and feeling can be allowed without 'having to' do something with them. Then, spontaneity arises instead of running on automatic.

Here’s the heart of Week 1 and a preview of Week 2:

Let’s say there exists a state of mind, or state of being, or emotional state (all referring to the same thing here, doesn’t matter what you call it) that is problematic for us in that it is habitual, seems uncontrollable and produces ill effects in our life. And it has been dealt with (or not dealt with) in whatever way is our familiar way, but it doesn’t work. Because when this particular state arises, we fall victim to its repercussions again and again, no matter how hard we TRY not to. So, this time, we’re going to create a new groove in the brain… this time we are NOT GOING TO TRY AT ALL! 

This time, we are going to shift attention to sensation of just this breath. It will require as much practice as it requires – there is no set amount of practice, because we don’t know how much practice is needed, and we don’t have to know. We just have to be serious about our intent to practice shifting our attention to breath even though thought is demanding that we “do something about this problem!” We don’t try to shut down the thoughts that are describing the problem, and we don’t try to shut down the thoughts that are demanding some kind of action, or the thoughts that are criticizing our apparent lack of taking action. 

For just this breath, we devote our entire life to focusing only on the sensation of breath. That’s the practice. Thought may put up resistance, may put up a struggle, may put up a war! It doesn’t matter. We are perhaps shattering a lifetime-old pattern by not giving that thought our attention, by giving sensation of breath attention instead. Just this breath.

 

And allow gentle compassion for the self that has fallen victim to this pattern of thought all her/his life, and focus only on sensation of breath, knowing that awareness will bring no harm to you.

Week #1

This week we are practicing remaining still, quiet and focused on nothing else than the sensation of breath for one breath at a time. 

And although we are 'practicing,' no amount of trying will work! That's because trying is not necessary... only allowing works. Allowing what already is to just be... equanimity. In equanimity, there is no trying or not trying, there is no movement of the personal sense-of-self (i.e., thought) to do anything. When there is no thought movement, the stillness of awareness is sensed in equanimity. Thinking about getting still, quiet and focused with equanimity is done within the movement of thought - it is conceptual. Being still, quiet and focused with equanimity is experiential.

Focusing only on sensation brings the movement of thought to a stop long enough to recognize that awareness, or presence, is there and to realize that it is always there. In the stillness, the silence, the equanimity of awareness, when thought does arise - and it will simply because of conditioning - it is seen as just that: a thought arising in awareness. And then the thought dissolves in awareness. There is no movement to do anything with that thought, including taking it personally as 'my thought' or a thought 'about me.' Rather, it is seen in equanimity for what it is - a movement of energy that arises and dissolves within the stillness of awareness.

So, this week, we just have to be serious about our intent to practice shifting our attention to breath even though thought is demanding that we do something. For just this breath, we devote our entire life to focusing only on the sensation of breath. That’s the practice.