Week #3 (4/28/10)

In class this evening, we discussed what "obstacles" present themselves to us when we attempt to sit still and quiet and focus in awareness with equanimity. The actual act of sitting still and quiet and focusing in awareness with equanimity is not difficult; in fact, it happens naturally and with ease once we actually sit down to practice. The difficult part for many of us is getting to the point of sitting down! Yes, some amount of commitment is necessary here, especially if you're not used to making the time to sit still and quiet. 

Constant thinking also appears to be an obstacle, but be careful about rationalizing around this - we human beings think - period. It's futile to try to shut down thinking while you're practicing - if that had worked, you'd have no need to get quiet in the first place! And besides, only thought would want to try to shut thought down: the mind says that you must quiet your thinking, and you must engage in trying to do that. Equanimity allows what already is to be, without trying to change it or resist it in any way: thinking arises, you become aware that you're engaged in it, identified with it, but because you are practicing equanimity, as soon as you're aware of being engaged in thinking, you immediately return your focus to inner sensation. You don't give the thinking a second thought! 

Compassion helps a lot. Explore having compassion for the "me" that constantly gets caught up in identification with thought - especially thought that occurs in the form of old, habitual, unhealthy patterns. When you focus in the awareness of sitting still and quiet with equanimity, you will actually "see" these thoughts. You will be able to see them because you are not completely caught up in them - you are able to see them because you are seeing from the perspective of focusing in awareness, and not from the perspective of thinking. In that moment of equanimity, you can sense deeply that you are not your thoughts, and the habitual identification with thinking gradually dissolves away, replaced by a sense of just being - alive, present, aware being.

Practice for this week: The whole purpose of practicing in these first four weeks is to build the capacity for focusing in awareness with equanimity while sitting still and quiet so you can then start applying this "tool" of focusing in awareness when you are actively engaged in your daily life. If you don't practice this now, if you don't build and strengthen this tool now, you won't be able to use the tool when you need it out in your daily life. Continue practicing at least once a day, sitting for at least 5 minutes. If you feel comfortable for sitting longer, then do it. If you feel you're sitting too long, decrease the time to comfortable level.