This week we looked at how thought can create a sense of separation, and how the sense of separation creates feelings of incompleteness, not being whole, not being "enough," and the endless, futile seeking to get more so that we can feel enough. And we experienced that when we focus completely on the sensation (of breath or inner body energy) with equanimity, there is an allowing of all to be exactly as it is, and this creates a sense of wholeness, peace, "enoughness" - a recognition of present awareness - without the need for thought.
Identification with the thought-created and thought-sustained sense-of-self is how we hold on to habitual patterns. This identification comes entirely from the past and gives us a sense of security: we apparently know who and what we are. But on closer examination, we see that who and what we think we are right now is coming from thought about who and what we were in the past! When the sense-of-self is not derived from thought, your life doesn't end - it becomes fresh! Life becomes simply being - alive, present, awareness.
Awareness is not some thing you can get from the outside and then own... awareness is inside, always present, always here, now. It simply takes a shift of perspective out of identification with the separate-seeming, thought-based sense-of-self into the sense of oneness of awareness.
Practice for this week: Each day, for a 10 minute period, get still, quiet and focused on the sensation of either the breath inside the nostrils or the sensation of energy inside the hands - whichever is most comfortable and prominent for you. And remember that there is no goal to be reached - the practice itself is the goal.
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ReplyDeleteOk, so I had what I feel is a wierd experience, although I hesitate to say weird because it is what it is. I was practicing my meditation today, focusing on my breathing and using my mantra. I got comfortably seated on my meditation pillow, took my stater breath and began. Well, I don't know where in the 10 minutes it began, but by the end of my practice I started to really feel uncomfortable like I very strongly noticed that I was really looking forward to the 10 minutes to be over. I noticed that the feeling was so strong that I was struggling to remain focused on my breath and my mantra. I was able to complete the 10 minutes but felt very relieved it was over. Not sure why but I noticed I was agitated, my breath seem shallow and slightly labored? It was a perplexing experience and I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts about it?
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