Week #6 Recap & Exploration

Part I of this course – the first six weeks – was all about building a tool: the capacity to focus in Awareness. Now we'll take that tool into Part II and focus on using the tool outside the arena of sitting meditation. It’s going to be very important that you remain aware of what happens when you use the tool and when there appears to be an obstacle to focusing in awareness, so you can discuss these topics during class time.

Here are some highlights from Week #6 class:

• We shared our experiences with last week’s assignment, i.e., what happened when we focused in awareness and saw a reaction thought and/or emotion.
• When habitual thought/feeling reactions ‘take over,’ there is a tendency to not focus in awareness, but rather to focus on whatever thoughts and feelings are occurring, and whatever interpretations, meanings and stories are associated with that habitual pattern. But if we can maintain a focus in awareness with equanimity, just as we practiced doing during meditation, we don’t 'join with' those thoughts/emotions – we don’t give them the energy they need to keep running, the energy they receive from focusing on them, and as a result they lose their oomph and wither away.
• Acknowledge that, in the instant you see a pattern playing out, it is awareness that is allowing you to do that – the tool of focusing in awareness is working! Now focus (with equanimity!) in the awareness of the thought/feeling – not in the thought/feeling. Doing that will allow you to remain aware of what is occurring without becoming identified with it, without getting all caught up in it. And the next time you see yourself getting caught up in a reaction, you can remember that you have another option available in your repertoire: you can focus on the sensation of one breath and then continue to focus in awareness (with equanimity) on the breath and on your reaction.
• Remember that as you practice and hone this tool of focusing in awareness, you will be more aware of the habitual patterns you have been reacting to, and your initial reaction may be one of judgment. But with continued practice of allowing what already is to just be, see how viewing your reactions from the perspective of being focused in awareness changes your relationship to these patterns. From this perspective, you’ll be able to see the difference between what it is you’re reacting to and the reaction itself – what you’re doing with what is: the judgments, meanings, interpretations and stories about what is, that thoughts are creating.

The 90 Second Emotion Rule (as described on the Denise Renye, PsyD Candidate Blog):

“In her amazing book, MY STROKE OF INSIGHT: A BRAIN SCIENTIST'S PERSONAL JOURNEY, Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D., maintains that it takes about 90 seconds to pass through the physical phase of experiencing an emotion...

Taylor says it takes "less than 90 seconds" for an emotion to get triggered, surge chemically through the blood stream, then get flushed out. She goes on to assert that within this brief period of time, the automatic emotional response is complete, so that whatever we feel after that is our choosing. Stunning information! Her take is that we need to be present and open to the feeling at whatever intensity it comes. If we short-circuit it, we won't receive the full impact of the message it's delivering. Alternately, if we continue to stoke the fires of the emotion, we're holding on to discomfort unnecessarily.

Emotions can feel terrifying because of their power and what we believe about them. Some folks are convinced they cannot tolerate affective discomfort and, therefore, choose to eat or in other ways distract themselves to avoid it. Others rationalize or minimize their emotions and, therefore, are not completely present to them. Still others intensify feelings by over-focusing on them until they really do become unbearable and feel overwhelming.

Where are you on this continuum? Where do you want to be? Can you really not stand to feel an emotion for 90 seconds? Next time you're stressed or distressed, grab your watch or keep your eyes on the clock. Watch the second hand go ‘round one and one-half times. Notice how you feel. Get in the habit of observing how long the physical part of experiencing an emotion takes. Pay attention to what you're feeling and see if you can simply allow the emotion to wash over and through you. Do nothing, just let it flow.

If you allow yourself the full 90 seconds of experiencing a feeling while staying mindfully in neutral, congratulate yourself. If you distracted yourself before the chemicals were able to naturally flush through your system, be compassionate and remind yourself to try to do better next time. If you're still hanging onto your feelings after 90 seconds, gently pry yourself away with the reminder that you no longer need to hold on. You felt what you felt and hopefully gained insight or information from the experience and now it's time to let go. Ninety seconds, that's all it takes.”

• Lastly, we talked about what we were going to do in the next six weeks during class time, i.e., exploring the non-duality perspectives – and our reactions to them – of Scott Kiloby, Candice O’Denver, Jeff Foster, Tony Parsons and others.

Assignment: Set aside some time to reflect on your experience during the first six weeks  of this course and write down any specific insights about yourself (e.g., your thought patterns, habitual reactions, etc.) and/or changes in your perspective that occurred as a result of focusing in awareness. Please email your responses to me before our next meeting on November 2.

Note: It would be good to keep doing the meditation, and you can simply think of it as getting still and quiet, and focusing in awareness on the sensation of breath. And then allow the felt sense of awareness itself to be what is focused on.

Week #5 Recap & Exploration

In class last night I said that the 'assignment' was to be aware of thoughts and feelings during meditation, and to be aware of any thought or feeling you then have in reaction to them. And then to let go of them. I want to clarify what I'm asking of you to explore.

First let your breath help you focus in awareness. And focused in awareness,  when a thought or emotion arises, or pops ups, allow, with equanimity, its presence - its 'facticity'; it's already a thought or feeling. Instead of disallowing, or disregarding, the thought or feeling, you are allowing it 100%. You don't resist or try to change in any way what already is. And when you offer no resistance to what is, what is is seen as it is, without any overlay of thought about it or about you. It is seen and allowed to be what it is, but no more is made of it. The allowing itself is awareness. Feel what that feels like to let it go entirely, and return to focus in awareness.

And so the 'practice' goes, both when you are stopping to meditate and when you are on the go in your daily life. How many thoughts do you have in one day? Whatever the amount, that's how many opportunities you have to explore being focused in awareness.

Journey well!

Week #4 Recap & Weekly Exploration

This past week has been a challenge for me to bring focus to just this present breath! Was it for you? Sometimes, it's just that way. No matter... the next breath is always available (until it's not) to focus on.

What happens when you focus completely on the sensation of breath? When I focus all my attention on just the sensation of breath and nothing else, there is awareness of that sensation, awareness of other sensations (sounds, smells, bodily sensations, etc.), awareness of thoughts, and something else... there is awareness of the focusing itself. It's not me "being aware of" focusing in awareness (although thought may tell "me' that an instant later). No, it's a direct, aware sensing into the essence of focusing itself... it's awareness of awareness. In your exploration, see if you discover this for yourself, in your own experience.

Week #3 Recap & Weekly Exploration

As we continued to focus attention on the sensation of breath at the nostrils, we noticed the many and varied distractions that pull our attention away from this focus. And we noticed the habitual tendency to engage our focus in thought if we are not noticing with equanimity.

Noticing with equanimity is the same as allowing what already is to just be. In any given moment, we have the ability to focus our attention on the sensation of one breath right now, and allow everything (i.e., all content, all phenomena: thoughts, feelings, experiences or states, and other sensations) to be exactly as it is without doing anything about it. Practicing equanimity, or allowing, during meditation is how we are stopping the habit of reacting - usually with more thinking (internal judging, story-making, commenting, etc.) - to what is. We are strengthening our capacity to focus with equanimity during meditation so that we are capable of focusing on breath and allowing what is, when we are not in meditation.

This week, continue to practice this and see if you can increase your meditation to ten minutes, twice a day. Start your meditation with a deep, 'let-go' breath, focused completely on the sensation at the nostrils for one complete inhalation and exhalation. Repeat the deep breath once or twice again if necessary. Let it pull all your attention to it like a magnet. Then, as the breath resumes its natural depth and frequency all by itself, continue to focus all (shoot for 100%!) your attention on the sensation of breath and on allowing what is to just be - one breath at a time.

And if you have time, check out one or two of the Non-dual Realization links at the right side of this page to familiarize yourself with what these concepts are pointing to.

Things to remember...

1. The underlying goal and purpose of these first six weeks is for you to gain the capacity for using meditation as a tool for recognizing, or being aware of, awareness itself.
2. You are always already aware of whatever "phenomena" or "content" your attention is focused on: thoughts, feelings, sensations or experiences. Meditation allows you to directly experience being aware of the sense of stillness, silence and spaciousness, which is simple awareness without phenomena, without content.
   
3. When you identify with the content of your life (the "normal" way of living), who and what you take yourself to be is dependent on what you are thinking, feeling, sensing or experiencing - all temporary phenomena. During meditation, you just notice the arising and passing away of content with equanimity from the perspective of content-less stillness, silence and spaciousness.
4. From the perspective of being focused in awareness, as you see all content as temporary phenomena that arise and dissipate, you begin to sense, and have confidence in, the solidity and permanence of awareness as your primary identity.
   
5. As we move through this 12-week course, your confidence in the solidity and permanence of awareness as your primary identity will strengthen, as will your capacity to focus in awareness even when you are not in meditation. But for now, just practice the meditation perseveringly with patience, compassion and gentleness for yourself.