Week #6 Recap & Exploration

Part I of this course – the first six weeks – was all about building a tool: the capacity to focus in Awareness. Now we'll take that tool into Part II and focus on using the tool outside the arena of sitting meditation. It’s going to be very important that you remain aware of what happens when you use the tool and when there appears to be an obstacle to focusing in awareness, so you can discuss these topics during class time.

Here are some highlights from Week #6 class:

• We shared our experiences with last week’s assignment, i.e., what happened when we focused in awareness and saw a reaction thought and/or emotion.
• When habitual thought/feeling reactions ‘take over,’ there is a tendency to not focus in awareness, but rather to focus on whatever thoughts and feelings are occurring, and whatever interpretations, meanings and stories are associated with that habitual pattern. But if we can maintain a focus in awareness with equanimity, just as we practiced doing during meditation, we don’t 'join with' those thoughts/emotions – we don’t give them the energy they need to keep running, the energy they receive from focusing on them, and as a result they lose their oomph and wither away.
• Acknowledge that, in the instant you see a pattern playing out, it is awareness that is allowing you to do that – the tool of focusing in awareness is working! Now focus (with equanimity!) in the awareness of the thought/feeling – not in the thought/feeling. Doing that will allow you to remain aware of what is occurring without becoming identified with it, without getting all caught up in it. And the next time you see yourself getting caught up in a reaction, you can remember that you have another option available in your repertoire: you can focus on the sensation of one breath and then continue to focus in awareness (with equanimity) on the breath and on your reaction.
• Remember that as you practice and hone this tool of focusing in awareness, you will be more aware of the habitual patterns you have been reacting to, and your initial reaction may be one of judgment. But with continued practice of allowing what already is to just be, see how viewing your reactions from the perspective of being focused in awareness changes your relationship to these patterns. From this perspective, you’ll be able to see the difference between what it is you’re reacting to and the reaction itself – what you’re doing with what is: the judgments, meanings, interpretations and stories about what is, that thoughts are creating.

The 90 Second Emotion Rule (as described on the Denise Renye, PsyD Candidate Blog):

“In her amazing book, MY STROKE OF INSIGHT: A BRAIN SCIENTIST'S PERSONAL JOURNEY, Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D., maintains that it takes about 90 seconds to pass through the physical phase of experiencing an emotion...

Taylor says it takes "less than 90 seconds" for an emotion to get triggered, surge chemically through the blood stream, then get flushed out. She goes on to assert that within this brief period of time, the automatic emotional response is complete, so that whatever we feel after that is our choosing. Stunning information! Her take is that we need to be present and open to the feeling at whatever intensity it comes. If we short-circuit it, we won't receive the full impact of the message it's delivering. Alternately, if we continue to stoke the fires of the emotion, we're holding on to discomfort unnecessarily.

Emotions can feel terrifying because of their power and what we believe about them. Some folks are convinced they cannot tolerate affective discomfort and, therefore, choose to eat or in other ways distract themselves to avoid it. Others rationalize or minimize their emotions and, therefore, are not completely present to them. Still others intensify feelings by over-focusing on them until they really do become unbearable and feel overwhelming.

Where are you on this continuum? Where do you want to be? Can you really not stand to feel an emotion for 90 seconds? Next time you're stressed or distressed, grab your watch or keep your eyes on the clock. Watch the second hand go ‘round one and one-half times. Notice how you feel. Get in the habit of observing how long the physical part of experiencing an emotion takes. Pay attention to what you're feeling and see if you can simply allow the emotion to wash over and through you. Do nothing, just let it flow.

If you allow yourself the full 90 seconds of experiencing a feeling while staying mindfully in neutral, congratulate yourself. If you distracted yourself before the chemicals were able to naturally flush through your system, be compassionate and remind yourself to try to do better next time. If you're still hanging onto your feelings after 90 seconds, gently pry yourself away with the reminder that you no longer need to hold on. You felt what you felt and hopefully gained insight or information from the experience and now it's time to let go. Ninety seconds, that's all it takes.”

• Lastly, we talked about what we were going to do in the next six weeks during class time, i.e., exploring the non-duality perspectives – and our reactions to them – of Scott Kiloby, Candice O’Denver, Jeff Foster, Tony Parsons and others.

Assignment: Set aside some time to reflect on your experience during the first six weeks  of this course and write down any specific insights about yourself (e.g., your thought patterns, habitual reactions, etc.) and/or changes in your perspective that occurred as a result of focusing in awareness. Please email your responses to me before our next meeting on November 2.

Note: It would be good to keep doing the meditation, and you can simply think of it as getting still and quiet, and focusing in awareness on the sensation of breath. And then allow the felt sense of awareness itself to be what is focused on.